<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Butterflies (that cover my skin) by JenosHoe</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957572">Butterflies (that cover my skin)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenosHoe/pseuds/JenosHoe'>JenosHoe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, JaeMin, M/M, NCT Dream - Freeform, Noren, Polyamory, Sad Huang Ren Jun, Scars, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, jeno - Freeform, nct - Freeform, nomin, norenmin, renjun - Freeform, renjun is sad but jeno and jaemin pick him up, renmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:02:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenosHoe/pseuds/JenosHoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I kissed the scars on her skin<br/>I still think you're beautiful<br/>And I don't ever want to lose my best friend<br/>I scream out,<br/>God you vulture<br/>Bring her back or take me with her</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Butterflies (that cover my skin)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: !!MENTIONS OF SELF HARM ANF BLOOD, PLEASE AVOID READING FURTHER IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE FOLLOWINGTOPICS!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Renjun played around with the pocket knife in his hand, swirling it around, his mind filled with conflict. He debated on finally feeling something besides the numbness that ate him through the unusually long week or to keep the promise he made with Jaemin and Jeno.</p>
<p>He stared at the sharp metal object, before slightly bringing it over to his forearm and gliding it over his skin, leaving a small scratch behind, not satisfied, Renjun once again, slit his arm, this time with more force, without a break, he found himself repeatedly draw cuts on his arm.<br/>
His hot tears poured, some mixing with the trail of blood that dripped down his arm, falling onto his jeans and floor.</p>
<p>"We're ho- Renjun!"<br/>
The voice snapped Renjun backed to his senses, his head jerked towards the door, and his eyes widened at the sight of Jaemin staring at him, tears visibly collecting in his eyes, while Jeno stood behind, frozen at the sight of Renjuns arm.</p>
<p>His arm<br/>
Renjun tore his gaze from the 2 and back to his arm., his mouth falling agape at the multiple cuts, few bleeding due to the depth. the knife fell onto the ground, the clang filling the silent room.<br/>
Renjun didn't dare to look away from his bleeding arm, a part of him content with the stinging pain, and the rest of him displeased with breaking the promise.</p>
<p>He heard shuffling and a bunch of bags falling onto the ground, and almost immediately he felt someone's presence next to him, bringing his arm forward.<br/>
He looked u and saw Jaemin looking at his arm, with slight tears already down his cheeks, he looked back at Renjun, and Renjun felt his stomach churn at the glint of pain that flashed in Jaemins eyes.<br/>
He felt himself cry more, taking his hand out of Jaemins grip, only for it to be pulled by Jeno who kneeled in front of him.</p>
<p>"Injunie, why?"<br/>
Jaemin asked, his voice soft. Renjun didn't dare to speak, afraid his voice would break, instead, he stared at his arm that was being cleaned by Jeno, who had held his, gently<br/>
"Why?"<br/>
Jaemin said a bit louder this time, he asked knowing Renjun wouldn't reply but hoped the boy would realize for himself that whatever reason it was, it wasn't worth it.</p>
<p>"I thought you promised th-"<br/>
"you think I don't fucking remember that I did?!"<br/>
</p>
<p>Jaemin immediately shut his mouth when Renjun raised his voice, jerking his head towards the younger. Jaemin saw how Renjun glared at him, his eyes red with fresh tears making their way down, even though he fumed, Jaemin saw right through it, knowing Renjun was hurt and guilty.</p>
<p>Renjun felt Jeno flinch at his outburst, though he felt bad for scaring him, he couldn't help but get frustrated at Jaemin. He felt his breathing get heavier, and suddenly he felt everything around him get blurry, he felt a sense of alertness and couldn't help but uncomfortably shift in his seat.</p>
<p>Jeno seemed to notice, he felt Renjun start shaking in his grip, he looked up at the older, only to Renjun have his eyes closed breathing heavily</p>
<p>"Injun"<br/>"Look at me"</p>
<p>Jeno said softly, his words gaining Jaemins attention too. Renjun opened his eyes slowly and instantly found Jenos welcoming orbs</p>
<p>"Just focus on me, it's fine, everything will be fine"</p>
<p>Jeno said warmly and Renjun nodded, not breaking his gaze with Jeno, he felt the boy rub his knuckles with his thumb. He felt the weight next to him shift, and an arm draped itself around his narrow shoulders, playing with his hair. He knew it was Jaemin, he bought his eyes onto him, while Jeno finished aiding his arm.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry" Renjun said looking at Jaemin, he felt his breathing calm down when Jaemin smiled at him, empathetic and sincere.</p>
<p>"you dont have to be sorry, I'm sorry for being insensitive"</p>
<p>Renjun shook his head at Jaemins words<br/>
"no, I broke our promise, I broke the promise I made with you, I broke the promise I made with Jeno"</p>
<p>He said glancing at Jeno, who was looking at him back<br/>
"I'm sorry, both of you, I should've come to one of you instead"</p>
<p>Jaemin sighed, bringing his palm to rest on Renjuns cheek</p>
<p>"it's fine, we forgive you, so please dont burden yourself by feeling apologetic, your already dealing with enough"</p>
<p>Jeno spoke, and he felt Jaemin nod, agreeing with Jeno.  Jeno got up, disposing of the blood-stained wipes before taking a seat next to Renjun who was now resting his head on Jaemins chest, while the latter played with his hair.</p>
<p>"Do you want to tell us what happend?"</p>
<p>Jaemin asked, pulling away a bit, to look down at Renjun who was fiddling with the hem of Jaemins shirt. Renjun thought for a bit, he didn't know how to explain the wave of feelings he felt during the week. he sighed softly, pulling away from Jaemin,  and sat straight, fumbling with his fingers. </p>
<p>"While you two went to Busan, I overheard someone talk about how you're both better off without me and how I came in between the two of you" </p>
<p> "Renjun you neve-"</p>
<p>Renjun cut Jaemin off</p>
<p>"I know, I know, you both reassured me a countless amount of times, but I couldn't help it, and being alone the past week, with only myself, I felt empty, and I realized how much you 2 mean to me, yet also how I dont fit in"</p>
<p>Once again, he felt himself tear up at the thought.<br/>
Jeno and Jaemin both went to Busan for a company event, leaving Renjun behind, who was busy with his art exhibitions. It had been the second day since they left when during one of his displays, he heard one of his '𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴' talk about how Renjun forced himself in between the 2 and though he tried ignoring it, he couldn't help but find himself reluctantly agree to them.</p>
<p>Now he just felt wrong, he felt like he doubted the assurance both boys gave him, he felt horrible knowing he listened to someone who didn't care nor acknowledge Renjun.</p>
<p>"Renjun, dont blame yourself for how you feel, it's normal to feel doubt, but I hope you know that you aren't ruining anything between me and Jaemin, we gladly welcomed you into our relationship, because we love you Injunie"</p>
<p>Jeno said grabbing Renjuns hand, pecking it slightly<br/>
"We love you Renjun, we dont want you to feel left out or neglected, and if you ever do, tell us, we will prevent doing so. Just dont hurt yourself, find us, it's not worth it</p>
<p>Jaemin followed, rubbing Renjuns back, Renjun nodded, sniffing, he looked at both boys<br/>
"I love you both, thank you"</p>
<p>He said, his voice filled with emotion, the two smiled in reply</p>
<p>"Now give me the name of this person who said such bullshit, I'm sure Jeno won't mind throwing a few punches here and there"</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After dinner, Jeno carried Renjun to bed, with Jaemin trailing behind him, and placed Renjun in the middle, while he lied down on his right and Jaemin on his left.<br/>
Jeno pulled Renjun into his embrace, kissing the boys hair softly, while Jaemin pressed his chest onto Renjuns back, his hands wrapping over Jenos that were on Renjuns waist, and left soft butterfly pecks on Renjuns exposed neck, making the latter giggle slightly at the feeling, his laugh was followed by Jaemins and Jeno who smiled at their cute antics.</p>
<p>"Good night loves"<br/>
"Good night injunie, good night nono"<br/>
"Good night"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>helloooo,<br/>ah the saddest of all my works<br/>pain✊🤧<br/>but yes, don't listen to other people, the things they utter are only true once you decide to believe in them.<br/>so stay strong ....and stan n-😳💚</p>
<p>u already know the drill-👀</p>
<p>oh andddd this took time editing cuz i had to like copy all the quotations into a font generator- pain</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>